Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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