I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
