Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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