Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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