She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The uberlube is also flammable
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
