He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
