I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
