when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
