He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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