cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He did a backflip because drugs
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
