You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
