everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
