I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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