i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
