hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
