It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
