For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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