Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
