Just fell off a train. Bad.
I could make wine with my vomit
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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