Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
