We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
