I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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