people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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