I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
