Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
