If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
