Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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