Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
