The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just google imaged poop.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
