i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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