please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
