in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
