He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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