Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
