the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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