fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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