I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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