I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
