Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
