The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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