This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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