Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
