i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You took a bar mat shot.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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