I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
