Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
