I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
