My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
