Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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