p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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