I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
