Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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