Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
