Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
