I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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