Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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